Three

Tonight I tucked in my sweet 2 year old son for the last time. Tomorrow he will be 3.  My second born, my baby for a while.  For the first time ever, he asked me to lay beside him as he went to sleep tonight.  I had a million other things on my mind and dirty dishes from supper calling my name.  I took him up on his offer and my heart was blessed indeed.  I laid there and thought about how my first born wanted me to lay beside her every night, I had to often tell her no because I knew it would just prolong her going to sleep.  It's sad really that your first child gets way more attention than the second.  It's true. No longer is it just one on one, now I am outnumbered and have to find a way to give more of myself. Now add #3 and it's just a circus.

Nathan is my sweet loving little boy. Full of life and curiosity.  Looking for the next opportunity to do something he's not supposed to.  In one minute he can destroy a room and melt my heart.  Time flies by so fast and just the thought of any of my children growing up breaks me into pieces.  Nevertheless, I love celebrating the day of their birth each year.  Here's to another year full of life with you, Nathan.

Dearest sweet boy,
I almost cannot even think about your sweet face without tearing up.  I prayed for a son and here you are.  There is nothing in this world that can express how much I love you.  From the time you could move around you were into everything and much hasn't changed.  At times you make me want to pull my hair out but then you smile so sweetly at me and run up to me for a hug and I cave. Every time. Some of my favorite moments with you are when you are ready for nap or bed and you want to curl up with me in the recliner.  I know it's hopeless but it is nice to think that you will never be too big for mommy's lap!  You love to pester your sister and I am sure you will have a blast teasing Annalise when she is old enough too.  You love everything about daddy. You want to be just like him and that's ok by me.  Nothing brings him joy more than seeing you imitate the things he does.  What a great daddy you have son.  Tomorrow morning we will begin a day of celebrating your 3rd birthday.  I am so thrilled to be your mommy and to share this day with you.  I pray that God will continue to capture your heart and grow you into the man he has designed you to be. A man of honor, character and a man who desires to be like Christ.  I love you sweet boy. Happy Birthday.

Love,
mommy

In a world of "What If's"

This morning as we were about to leave for church, my husband tells me he found a tick on the carpet this morning...nice. We do have a dog so my assumption is he brought it in from the woods. Gross. As we got in the car and headed to church, I started becoming more concerned about the fact that a tick was INSIDE my house where my kids play. I turned to my husband and said "What if that tick were to get on one of us and we got some sort of disease!!" In his most sweetest and sincere voice my husband replied "honey, we don't live in a world of 'what if's'. Profound? Yes. Simple? Not hardly. I began to think more about that statement. When he said "we" did he mean me? I am certainly the worry wart of the family. I have to say I have improved tremendously over the years but there are still times when I live in fear of the unknown and am shaken easily by things that derail my well planned day.

 As I sat through church I couldn't stop thinking about that statement. It certainly struck a cord with me and the longer I sat and thought about it, the more my heart began to ache with conviction about my own state of peace. One of the scriptures used in the sermon this morning was Isaiah 9:6, coincidentally the same verse I chose for our family Christmas cards this year. It reads, "For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Prince of Peace. I quickly looked up the Hebrew word for Peace, Shalom. It is used over 230 times in the Bible. Hmmm....so what does that mean? I read further and noticed how that word was used throughout the Bible. Completeness, wholeness, safety, soundness, health, contentment, friendship with others, covenant relationship with God, peace from war.

Was my life missing any of these things? If yes, then my life was missing peace. Peace that came from a loving God in Heaven through a son he brought to earth in the form of a baby, a living, breathing, piece of God here on earth for us. Ironic as it sounds, during the Christmas season as we celebrate the birth of this baby: God in the flesh, Prince of Peace, we seem to get stressed and anxious about the things that would otherwise be non-existent if we received the peace that He has brought us.

I was instantly brought to tears as I sat in the pew and examined my heart and saw that I was that person. The one who asked, "What if?", the one who constantly worried about finances, the health and safety of my children, making friends, our government leaders, the economy. I am certainly one to make wise choices about these things, but I also understand that the ultimate result is out of my hands. Peace is not a choice we make. It is not something we get up daily and say "today I am going to have peace about .....". It doesn't work that way. This type of peace is not a prescriptive for the holidays or daily living. It comes ONLY as a result of a broken spirit, in desperate need of a savior, groping to find Him daily by being a student of his Word. Thank you God that it is as simple as that. Adding "find peace" to my already long list of things to do today would just stress me out.

The Return Part II

 We spent most of the summer searching for work and facing the fact that moving again was a likely option.  Part of me was excited to start over. It had been so hard adjusting to this town that a newer, bigger town just might be the change we needed.  As the months moved on, the leads got colder and the opportunities that once were there, were no longer.  Hope was beginning to fade in my eyes but Matt was optimistic. We had a game plan and we were about to have to put it in motion.

The thing about a small town is everyone knows someone who knows someone.  That was the very thing that landed Matt his next job.  So far, things are great. He loves it and they love him.  He is home for dinner almost every night and doesn't have to be out of town or work long weird hours or on weekends.  The kids are happy to have daddy back and present!

Fast forward.  I am now 26 weeks pregnant and expecting baby girl in January. Of course we are beyond excited!  Nathan and Sarabeth are adjusting the idea of having a little sister around.  They will do great.  I am still adjusting to this town and our life as we know it here.  I am thankful for God's provision for our family, but sometimes question the path.  It is not one I would have chosen but nevertheless, we are on it.  It is easy to trust God when things are going the way you expect them to.  It is so much harder when you are unsure.  This season of our life has been one big uncertainty, but I know it is good.

Returning to my roots has been tough and has required much, much I am slowly giving up through clenched fists.  It is causing me to return to a place with God that I have left vacant for too long.  He has given us much in the past few years and to whom much is given, much is required.  I can feel a new season approaching and I am looking forward to what is in store for this family of 5. So I guess returning isn't so bad, my spot is even still warm.

The Return Part 1

I can't believe it has been so long since I have blogged. Writing has always been my passion, my outlet, something that I have always looked forward to doing. With the rise of Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites, my blog has been totally neglected and I have felt the pains.

I haven't blogged much about the last few years which have been a gamut of emotions filled with surprises, good and not so much.

It has been nearly 2 years since moving to Arkansas from Houston. After moving out of my in-laws in January of this year into our own place in town, life started to look a little more "normal". Matt found a job quickly after moving and the kids and I started to establish somewhat of a routine in our new surroundings. My sewing continued but become so much tougher with two little ones at home and my mother in law not!

Most moms around here work full time and being in a small town has proved to be a challenge when trying to meet friends and find fun things for the kids to be involved in. Nathan turned 2 in February and Sarabeth 4 in November...coming up on 3 and 5! Matt and I continued to become involved in our local church and he is now teaching one of the adult Sunday School classes. I tried my hand at first grade for a semester and it really wasn't too bad. This spring and summer was tough on our family as Matt's job had him working in Dallas for a majority of the time. The kids and I were able to make a few trips up to visit and enjoyed some fun times being in the "city"! As life began to settle down a little, Matt's job ended unexpectedly and we were again faced with the challenge of looking for employment.

More to come.....

DONE

The last few weeks have been filled with tons of sewing...over 30 hours! I'm so thankful for my sweet friend Keisha who offered to come help get these babies out the door. I will be delivering my first ever order to a local boutique tomorrow morning and I am thrilled! My hope is that they sell quickly and I can do this again in a few weeks. It has been so fun designing these skirts. No two are the same and a lot of thought goes into making each one special. The new fabrics are listed here on the blog and you can order a custom ruffle skirt by contacting me directly or leaving a comment here on the blog. I offer sizes 12 months to 12 years. Prices range fro $40-50 depending on size.

Show Us Your Singles

I'm linking up with Kelly's Korner blog this week where she is featuring "Show Us Your Single Friends". This is such a great way for people to brag on their single friends in hopes of finding them a match! And so...I'm so excited to introduce you to my sweet friend Whitnie!

Whitnie is 35 and lives in Arkansas. She is a teacher and also has one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard and sings in our church choir. What I love most about Whitnie is her heart and passion for God. Here is what she wrote to me when I asked what I could include in my post: "Of course the main thing is that I am a Christian and have a passion for reaching the lost and those far from God. I want a spouse with a heart for God and who desires to be a Godly husband and family leader." I love her heart! She enjoys traveling, going on mission trips, reading, singing ,shopping, decorating and being crafty.
She loves to stay active and go to the gym and attend Razorback games. She is simple,laid back, easy going and ALWAYS has a smile on her face!


One last thing about Whitnie, and I think this is the most important thing. When I approached Whitnie about doing this I also asked her about being single at 35 and this is what she had to say, "I have always believed that God has a perfect and wonderful plan for my life but NEVER imagined it included being single at 35. It is my heart's desire to be a wife and a mom and I know His timing and plan are perfect. God has been so good to me, teaching me to totally rely on Him and let his love alone fulfill me." Not only is she beautiful, talented and smart...she's also one of the wisest women I know.


If you would like to know more about Whitnie you can leave a comment here with your contact information or you can email her directly at whitnie.jones@yahoo.com

Pickin' Wildflowers

One of the things I have enjoyed the most about living out here is the creative things my kids come up with to have fun. What once was a crazy busy day filled with play dates and Mother's Day Out is now filled with sitting on the porch, looking at this:

A few weeks ago my aunt gave SB this wheelbarrow and told her it was to use in the garden. Once tomato season ended, she used it to roll through the field in front of the house and fill with wildflowers she picked.

We've had the privlelege of spending this week with Uncle Gabe, Aunt Cheryl and their kids Iassac, Julia, and Caleb. Iassac and SB are two peas in a pod. Although they are 4 years apart, they play very well together and often run off and spend the day together. It is so sweet to watch SB with her cousins. She hasn't said much, but I know it must be tough on a 3 year old to not have many friends in a new place. Since we have lived here for 10 months, she has not had ONE friend come over to play. This week she has been on cloud nine and I have been just as thrilled to watch her laugh and play for hours every day. She loves people and having a house full of them this week has been such a treat for all of us.